we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
