Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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