There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
