Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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