I have demons in me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize