That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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