I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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