who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize