I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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