I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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