So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
