Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she looked like the before picture.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
