What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
