...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
