you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
