ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize