"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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