xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
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I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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