I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My feet surprised me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
