i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
