I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
