i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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