First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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