If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
