How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
