i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
