There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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