is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
