Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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