Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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