What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Small penises have feelings too.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
