I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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