my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize