Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
