if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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