I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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