youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize