8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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