dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
