if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
