please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
