I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
why is half of my head shaved?
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