How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
