Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
