I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
