i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
