I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
