i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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