i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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