I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
