Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
