I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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