That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
