Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
