Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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