My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
not ubering you a puppy
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
