Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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