I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
