I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
