Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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