The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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