The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
