..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
