I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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