Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
