I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
